The Baby Blues

I remember when I was lying in my hospital bed after the birth of my fourth child, Coleton. I had endured a full day of labor and a difficult delivery (who says the fourth one comes easily?), and I was tired beyond explanation. After the relief of seeing my precious new child came an uncontrollable feeling to close my eyes and sleep. As my husband cradled newborn Coleton, I drifted off; my parting thoughts were, “I can’t do this. I don’t have the energy. How will I ever take care of a baby?” Luckily for me, a few hours of sleep, a supportive family, and lucky genes were all it took to feel normal again. But as many as 80% of new mothers experience a case of the baby blues that lasts for weeks after the birth of their baby. This isn’t something new mothers can control ¾ there’s no place for blame. The most wonderful and committed mothers, even experienced mothers of more than one child, can get the baby blues.

What are baby blues?

Your baby’s birth has set into motion great changes in your body and in your life, and your emotions are reacting in a normal way. Dramatic hormonal shifts occur when a body goes from pregnant to not pregnant in a manner of minutes. Add to this your new title (Mommy!) and the responsibilities that go with it, and your blues are perfectly understandable. You’re not alone; this emotional letdown during the first few weeks is common after birth. Just remember that your state of mind has a physical origin and is exacerbated by challenging circumstances ¾ and you and your body will adjust to both soon.

How do I know if I have the baby blues?

Every woman who experiences the baby blues (also called postpartum blues) does so in a different way. The most common symptoms include:

• Anxiety and nervousness
• Sadness or feelings of loss
• Stress and tension
• Impatience or a short temper
• Bouts of crying or tearfulness
• Mood swings
• Difficulty concentrating
• Trouble sleeping or excessive tiredness
• Not wanting to get dressed, go out, or clean up the house
  

Could it be more than just the baby blues?

If you’re not sure whether you have the blues ask your doctor or midwife, and don’t feel embarrassed: This is a question that health care providers hear often and with good reason. If you’re feeling these symptoms to a degree that disrupts your normal level of function, if your baby is more than a few weeks old, or if you have additional symptoms ¾ particularly feelings of resentment or rejection toward your baby or even a temptation to harm him ¾ you may have more than the blues, you may have postpartum depression. This is a serious illness that requires immediate treatment. Please call a doctor or professional today. If you can’t make the call, then please talk to your partner, your mother or father, a sibling or friend and ask them to arrange for help. Do this for yourself and for your baby. If you can’t talk about it, hand this page it to someone close to you. It’s that important. You do not have to feel this way, and safe treatment is available, even if you’re breastfeeding.

How can I get rid of the blues?

While typical baby blues are fairly brief and usually disappear on their own, you can do a few things to help yourself feel better and get through the next few emotional days or weeks:

• Give yourself time. Grant yourself permission to take the time you need to become a mother. Pregnancy lasts nine months, the adoption process can take even longer, and your baby’s actual birth is only a moment ¾ but becoming a mother takes time. Motherhood is an immense responsibility. In my opinion, it is the most overwhelming, meaningful, incredible, transforming experience of a lifetime. No wonder it produces such emotional and physical change!

No other event of this magnitude would ever be taken lightly, so don’t feel guilty for treating this time in your life as the very big deal it is. Remind yourself that it’s okay (and necessary) to focus on this new aspect of your life and make it your number-one priority. Tending to a newborn properly takes time ¾ all the time in his world. So, instead of feeling guilty or conflicted about your new focus, put your heart into getting to know this new little person. The world can wait for a few weeks.

Consider as objectively as you can just what you have accomplished: You have formed a new, entire person inside your own body and brought him forth; you have been party to a miracle. Or, if you’ve adopted, you’ve chosen to invite a miracle into your life and became an instant mother. You deserve a break and some space in which to just exist with your amazing little one, unfettered by outside concerns.

 

• Talk to someone who understands. Talk to a sibling, relative or friend with young children about what you are feeling. Someone who has experienced the baby blues can help you realize that they are temporary, and everything will be fine. A confidante can also serve as a checkpoint who can encourage you to seek help if he or she perceives that you need it.

• Reach out and get out.  Simply getting out (if you are physically able and okayed for this by your health care provider) and connecting with people at large can go a long way toward reorienting your perspective. Four walls can close in very quickly, so change the scenery and head to the mall, the park, the library, a coffeehouse ¾ whatever place you enjoy. You’ll feel a sense of pride as strangers ooh and ahh over your little one, and your baby will enjoy the stimulation, too.

• Join a support group. Joining a support group, either in person or online, can help you sort through your feelings about new motherhood. Take care to choose a group that aligns with your core beliefs about parenting a baby. As an example, if you are committed to breastfeeding, but most other members of the group are bottlefeeding, this may not be the best place for you, since your breastfeeding issues won’t be understood and you won’t find many helpful ideas among this group. If you have multiples, a premature baby, or a baby with special needs, for example, seek out a group for parents with babies like yours. And within those parameters, look for a group with your same overall parenting beliefs. Just because you all have twin babies doesn’t mean you will all choose to parent them in the same way, so try to find like-minded new friends.

• Tell Daddy what he can do to help. It’s very important that your spouse or partner be there for you right now. He may want to help you, but he may be unsure of how. Here are a few things that he can do for you ¾ show him this list to help him help you:

• Understand. It’s critical that your spouse or partner feel that you understand that she is going through a hormonally driven depression that she cannot control ¾ and that she is not “just being grumpy.” Tell her you know this is normal, and that she’ll be feeling better soon. Simply looking over this list and using some of the ideas will tell her a lot about your commitment to (and belief in) her.
• Let her talk about her feelings. Knowing she can talk to you about her feelings without being judged or criticized will help her feel much better.
• Tend to the baby. Taking care of your baby so Mommy can sleep or take a shower can give her a breath of fresh air. Have her nurse the baby and then you can take him for a walk (using a sling will keep Baby happy) or go on an outing. A benefit for you is that most babies love to be out and about and will enjoy this special time with you.
• Step in to protect her. If she’s overwhelmed with visitors, kindly explain to company that she needs a lot of rest. Help her with whatever household duties usually fall to her (or get someone to help her) and do what you can to stay on top of yours. Worry about the house’s cleanliness or laundry upkeep will do her no good whatsoever. If relatives offer to take the baby for a few hours, or to help with the house, take them up on it.
• Tell her she’s beautiful. Most woman feel depressed about the way they look after childbirth ¾ because most still look four months pregnant! After changing so greatly to accommodate a baby’s development, a woman’s body takes months to regain any semblance of normalcy. Be patient with both her body and her feelings about it. Tell her what an amazing thing she’s accomplished. Any compliments that acknowledge her unique beauty are sure to be greatly appreciated!
• Tell her you love the baby. Don’t be bashful about gushing over the baby. Mommy loves to hear that you’re enraptured with this new little member of your family.
• Be affectionate, but be patient about sex. With all that she’s struggling with physically and emotionally, weeks may pass before she’s ready for sex (even if she’s had an OK after her checkup.) That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you or need you ¾ she just needs a little time to get back to the physical aspects of your sexual relationship.
• Tell her you love her. Even when she isn’t feeling down, she needs to hear this ¾ and right now it’s more important for her health and well-being than ever.
• Get support for you, too.  Becoming a father is a giant step in your life. Open up to a friend about how it feels to be a Dad, and do things that you enjoy, too. Taking care of yourself will help you take care of your new family.

Accept help from others.  Family and friends are often happy to help if you just ask. When people say, “Let me know if I can do anything” they usually mean it. So, go ahead and ask kindly for what you want, whether it’s watching your baby so that you can nap, taking your older child to the park, helping you make a meal, or doing some laundry

Get some sleep. Right now, sleeplessness will enhance your feelings of depression. So, take every opportunity to get some shuteye. Nap when the baby sleeps, go to bed early, and sleep in later in the morning if you can. If you are co-sleeping, take advantage of this special time when you don’t have to get up out of bed to tend to your baby. And if your baby’s sleep patterns are distressing to you then reach out to an experienced parent for help, or check out my book The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night.

Don’t fret about perfection right now. Household duties are not your top priority now ¾ in fact, nothing aside from getting to know your baby is. Remember that people are coming to see your baby, not your house, so enjoy sharing your baby with visitors without worrying about a little clutter or dust. Simplify, prioritize, and delegate routine tasks, errands, and obligations.

Enjoy your job. If you work outside the home, then view your time at your job as an opportunity to refresh and prepare yourself to enjoy your baby fully when you are at home. Go ahead ¾ talk about your baby and share pictures with your co-workers. Chances are, they’ll love to hear about your new little one. This is a nice and appropriate way of indulging your natural instincts to focus on your baby when you can’t be with her.

Get into exercising. With your health care provider’s approval, start exercising with short walks or swims. Exercise will help you feel better in many ways both physical and emotional. Even if you didn’t exercise before you had your baby, this is a great time to start. Studies prove that regular exercise helps combat depression, and it will help you regain your pre-baby body much more quickly.

Eat healthful foods. When the body isn’t properly nourished, spirits can flag ¾ particularly when the stress of recovery makes more nutritional demands. If you are breastfeeding, a nourishing diet is important for both you and your baby. Healthful foods, eaten in frequent meals, can provide the nutrition you need to combat the baby blues and give you the energy you need to handle your new role. And don’t forget to drink water and other healthy fluids, especially if you’re nursing! Dehydration can cause fatigue and headaches.

Take care of yourself. Parenting a new baby is an enormous responsibility, but things will fall into place for you and everything will seem easier given time. During this adjustment phase, try to do a few things for yourself. Simple joys like reading a book, painting your nails, going out to lunch with a friend or other ways in which you nourish your spirit can help you feel happier.

Love yourself. You are amazing: You’ve become mother to a beautiful new baby. You’ve played a starring role in the production of an incredible miracle. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished, and take the time to know and enjoy the strong, capable, multifaceted person you are becoming.

This article is a copyrighted excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

Free Kokopax Carrier ANYONE???

This time, AroundMyBaby.com is giving away a Kokopax eco-classic baby carrier to one lucky winner. And this time, you get to choose which eco-classic carrier you get!

The Kokopax eco-classic carrier has great padding to keep your baby comfortable, and you will love all the support this carrier offers. Unlike other carriers, this one has a firm frame to give added support. This is also a great carrier to use with your growing baby—even when he gets a little bigger, you can still use this carrier. Unlike a wrap or smaller carrier that is only convenient when you child is smaller, the Kokopax eco-classic carrier can be used for children from 6 months to two years, or up to 35 pounds.

The Kokopax eco-classic carrier is also convenient to use, with a simple buckle system and comfortable design. It’s sturdy enough to be used on a hike or while camping, but it’s also trendy and compact enough to make a trip to the mall or grocery store simpler. And with different styles to choose from, you’re sure to find one that fits you (and your baby’s!) style.

Head on over to Babes and Kids Review to enter. Tiffany at Babes and Kids has done a great review of her Kokopax baby carrier and has offered several ways to enter.

Solving Naptime Problems

Napping is an important element of your child’s healthy mental and physical growth. A daily nap refreshes a child so that she can maintain her energy, focus, and ability to learn for the rest of the day. Some studies even show that children who nap every day are more flexible and adaptable, have longer attention spans and are less fussy than those who don’t nap.

How can you tell if your child needs a nap?
Here are some of the signs that your child needs a daily nap:

• Wakes up in a good mood, but gets whiny and cranky as the day progresses
• Has more patience early in the day, but is easily aggravated later on
• Cries more easily in the afternoon and evening than earlier in the day
• Has an afternoon or early evening slump, but gets a second wind afterwards
• Yawns, rubs eyes, or fusses while getting ready for bed
• Often falls asleep in the car or when watching a movie

How much naptime does your child need?
Children differ in their sleep needs, some needing more or less than shown here ¾ but what follows is a general guide that applies to most of them. Even if your child’s sleep hours add up to the right amount, his or her behavior tells you more than any chart possibly could. When in doubt – always try for a nap, since even a period of quiet time can help a child feel more refreshed.

Average hours of daytime and nighttime sleep

Age	Number of naps	Total length of naptime hours	Nighttime sleep hours**	Total of nighttime and naptime sleep
Newborn*
3 months	3	5 – 6	10 – 11	15
6 months	2	3 – 4	10 – 11	14 – 15
9 months	2	2 ½ – 4	11 – 12	14
12 months	1–2	2 – 3	11 ½ –12	13 ½ –14
18 months	1–2	2 – 3	11 ¼ -12	13 – 14
2 years	1	1–2 ½	11–12	13 – 13 ½
2 ½ years	1	1 ½ -2	11–11 ½	13 – 13 ½
3 years	1	1–1 ½	11 –11 ½	12 – 13
4 years	0 -1	0 -1	11–11 ½	11 – 12  ½
5-6 years	0 -1	0 -1	11	11 – 12

 

*Newborns sleep 16-18 hours daily, spread over 6-7 sleep periods.  ** These averages don’t signify unbroken stretches of sleep.

© Elizabeth Pantley, The No-Cry Sleep Solution and The No-Cry
Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers (McGraw-Hill)

When should your child nap?
The timing of your child’s naps is important since a nap that occurs too late in the day will prevent your child from being tired at bedtime. Generally, the best nap times are:

• If your child takes two naps: midmorning (around 9:00 to 11:00) and early afternoon (around 12:00 to 2:30)
• If your child takes one nap: early afternoon (around 12:00 to 2:30); after lunch

If your child tends towards short naps, don’t give in and assume that it’s all the nap time that she needs. Try some of these tips for increasing the length of naps:

• Give your child lunch or a snack a half hour before nap.

• Keep the sleeping room dark.
• Play soothing music or white noise during the entire nap.
• Make certain that discomfort from teething, allergies, asthma, ear infection or other health issues aren’t preventing your child from taking a good nap. If you suspect any of these, schedule a visit to your health care professional.

Watch for signs of tiredness
Tired children fall asleep easily. If he isn’t tired he’ll resist sleep, but if you miss his signals, he can become overtired and be unable to fall asleep when you finally do put him to bed. Your child may demonstrate one or more of these signs that tell you he is tired and ready to nap – now:

• losing interest in playtime
• rubbing his eyes
• looking glazed or unfocused
• becoming whiny, cranky or fussy
• losing patience with toys, activities or playmates
• having tantrums
• yawning
• lying down or slumping in his seat
• caressing a lovey or blanket
• asking for a pacifier, bottle or to nurse

The nap routine
Once you have created a nap schedule that works with your child’s daily periods of tiredness, follow a simple but specific nap routine. Your child will be most comfortable if there is a pattern to his day. He may come to predict when his naptime approaches and willingly cooperate with you.

Nap routines change
Children’s sleep needs change over time, so remember that the routine that you set up today won’t be the same one you’re using a year from now. Be adaptable!

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Publishing from The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 2002  http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

10 Foolishly Friendly April Fool’s Day Pranks

Kids love April Fool’s Day as much, if not more, than adults so show your kids how they can have some friendly fun on this foolishly fun day with some of these April Fool’s Day friendly pranks:

1. Green Eggs and Ham. Moms or Dads, fool your child by telling them that Dr. Seuss visited early in the morning and made them green eggs for breakfast. Before putting the eggs in the pan, put a few drops of green food coloring and then scramble them up for your kids to eat.

2. Do you have teenagers? Then I’m sure the first thing they do is check their text messages. If they’re not sleeping with that phone, then at night when they go to bed, get their phone and re-organize all their settings. Then, send them a text message saying “April Fool’s Day”.

3. Pen & Ink. Kids can remove the ink cartridges from most of their parents pens by just unscrewing the pen. Tape all the ink cartridges under a desk or table. Tape a note to the pen that says, “April Fool’s Day! If you need to write on top of your desk, today you might be well served to think upside down and inside out, and write on the bottom instead.”

4. Getting Dressed. Tie all of Dad’s socks together in one long rope. At the end of the last sock, safety-pin on a note that says, “April Fool’s Day”.

5. You’re Late, You’re Late, For a Very Important Date. Change the current date on the victim’s computer calendar to a few years in the future and watch all of the upcoming calendar items pop up as missed items. The victim will have to figure out what has happened.

6. Changing the Sheets. During the day, change the sheets and covers on the victims bed, so the comforter goes down first and the sheets last. Make the bed so the victim’s head is where their feet normally are.

7. Reorganize. Move the objects in your food cupboard to your pots cupboard and your pots to where you keep the Tupperware and so on. Leave a note in at least one cupboard that says, ‘April Fool’s Day’. Watch as your parents open and shut cupboards looking for what they need. Whatever you move though, remember you’ll probably be the one who will have to put it all back.

8. Blow it All Up. Blow up a package or two of balloons and fill a room with them. Throughout the day, have balloons in silly spots like replacing all his/her toys in his/her toy box with balloons.

9. Lazy Does It. Easy and Fun to Watch, simply hiding the t.v. remote control can cause chaos in any home these days. Despite the fact that most of us could just get up and change the channel, we will instead spend hours searching for the remote. For this foolish joke, turn the t.v. on to something you know the victim won’t want to watch, then proceed to hide the remote. A preferable hiding spot would be one where there is a suggestion that they go outside rather than watch t.v. – perhaps sitting inside their running shoes. Leave notes in some of the obvious hiding spots with clues to the final destination.

10. Spring is in the Air. Back in the day, kids used to toilet paper people’s houses. There are a slew of reasons why that’s not a good idea anymore, for which I won’t go into now, but I read them all on Mamapedia and many made sense. However, a more innocent and sweet version of this would be to cut out sweet spring decorations and decorate your parents’ cars, or kitchen, or bathroom. Using kid safe scissors, draw and cut out lots of flowers and other spring items (ask your teacher or another adult for help if you need to) and attach them with tape to windows, mirrors or other non-painted surfaces.

Shauna Henry, Founder & Editor |YourLifEvents.com | Weddings, Nesting, Coupling & Kids | Lifestyle Blog for the Artsy Chic | http://www.yourlifevents.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shauna_Henry
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How to Have a Happy Marriage When You’re Busy Being Parents

Is your marriage everything you ever hoped it could be? Or has it been pushed down your list of priorities since having children? Let’s face it, parenthood is a full-time job, and it dramatically changes your marriage relationship. But marriage is the foundation upon which your entire family is structured. If your marriage is strong, your whole family will be strong; your life will be more peaceful, you’ll be a better parent, and you’ll, quite simply, have more fun in your life.

Make a commitment
To create or maintain a strong marriage you will have to take the first critical step: You must be willing to put time, effort and thought into nurturing your marriage. The ideas that follow will help you follow through on this commitment and will put new life and meaning into your marriage. A wonderful thing may happen. You may fall in love with your spouse all over again. In addition, your children will greatly benefit from your stronger relationship. Children feel secure when they know that Mom and Dad love each other—particularly in today’s world, where 50 percent of marriages end in divorce; half of your children’s friends have gone, or are going through a divorce; or maybe it’s your kids who have survived a divorce and are now living in a new family arrangement.  Your children need daily proof that their family life is stable and predictable. When you make a commitment to your marriage, your children will feel the difference. No, they won’t suffer from neglect! They’ll blossom when your marriage—and their homelife—is thriving.

The surprising secret is that this doesn’t have to take any extra time in your already busy schedule. Just a change in attitude plus a committed focus can yield a stronger, happier marriage.

So here’s my challenge to you. Read the following suggestions and apply them in your marriage for the next 30 days. Then evaluate your marriage. I guarantee you’ll both be happier.

Look for the good, overlook the bad
You married this person for many good reasons. Your partner has many wonderful qualities. Your first step in adding sizzle to your marriage is to look for the good and overlook the bad.

Make it a habit to ignore the little annoying things — dirty socks on the floor, a day-old coffee cup on the counter, worn out flannel pajamas, an inelegant burp at the dinner table — and choose instead to search for those things that make you smile: the way he rolls on the floor with the baby; the fact that she made your favorite cookies, the peace in knowing someone so well that you can wear your worn out flannels or burp at the table.

Give two compliments every day
Now that you’ve committed to seeing the good in your partner, it’s time to say it! This is a golden key to your mate’s heart. Our world is so full of negative input, and we so rarely get compliments from other people. When we do get a compliment, it not only makes us feel great about ourselves, it actually makes us feel great about the person giving the compliment! Think about it! When your honey says, “You’re the best. I’m so glad I married you.” It not only makes you feel loved, it makes you feel more loving.

Compliments are easy to give, take such a little bit of time, and they’re free. Compliments are powerful; you just have to make the effort to say them. Anything works: “Dinner was great, you make my favorite sauce.” “Thanks for picking up the cleaning. It was very thoughtful, you saved me a trip.” “That sweater looks great on you.”

Play nice
That may sound funny to you, but think about it. How many times do you see — or experience — partners treating each other in impolite, harsh ways that they’d never even treat a friend? Sometimes we take our partners for granted and unintentionally display rudeness. As the saying goes, if you have a choice between being right and being nice, just choose to be nice. Or to put this in the wise words of Bambi’s friend Thumper, the bunny rabbit – “If you can’t say somethin’ nice don’t say nothin’ at all.”

Pick your battles
How often have you heard this advice about parenting? This is great advice for child-rearing—and it’s great advice to follow in your marriage as well. In any human relationship there will be disagreement and conflict. The key here is to decide which issues are worth pursuing and which are better off ignored. By doing this, you’ll find much less negative energy between you.

From now on, anytime you feel annoyed, take a minute to examine the issue at hand, and ask yourself a few questions. “How important is this?” “Is this worth picking a fight over?” “What would be the benefit of choosing this battle versus letting it go?”

The 60 second cuddle
You can often identify a newly married couple just by how much they touch each other — holding hands, sitting close, touching arms, kissing — just as you can spot an “oldly-married” couple by how little they touch. Mothers, in particular, often have less need for physical contact with their partners because their babies and young children provide so much opportunity for touch and cuddling that day’s end finds them “touched fulfilled”.

So here’s a simple reminder: make the effort to touch your spouse more often. A pat, a hug, a kiss, a shoulder massage – the good feeling it produces for both of you far outweighs the effort.

Here’s the deal: Whenever you’ve been apart make it a rule that you will take just 60 seconds to cuddle, touch and connect. This can be addictive! If you follow this advice soon you’ll find yourselves touching each other more often, and increasing the romantic aspect of your relationship.

Spend more time talking to and listening to your partner.
I don’t mean, “Remember to pick up Jimmy’s soccer uniform.” Or “I have a PTA meeting tonight.” Rather, get into the habit of sharing your thoughts about what you read in the paper, what you watch on TV, your hopes, your dreams, your concerns. Take a special interest in those things that your spouse is interested in and ask questions. And then listen to the answers.

Spend time with your spouse
It can be very difficult for your marriage to thrive if you spend all your time being “Mommy” and “Daddy”. You need to spend regular time as “Husband” and “Wife”. This doesn’t mean you have to take a two-week vacation in Hawaii. (Although that might be nice, too!) Just take small daily snippets of time when you can enjoy uninterrupted conversation, or even just quiet companionship, without a baby on your hip, a child tugging your shirtsleeve or a teenager begging for the car keys. A daily morning walk around the block or a shared cup of tea after all the children are in bed might work wonders to re-connect you to each other. And yes, it’s quite fine to talk about your children when you’re spending your time together, because, after all, your children are one of the most important connections you have in your relationship.

When you and your spouse regularly connect in a way that nurtures your relationship, you may find a renewed love between you, as well as a refreshed vigor that will allow you to be a better, more loving parent. You owe it to yourself — and to your kids — to nurture your relationship.

So take my challenge and use these ideas for the next 30 days. And watch your marriage take on a whole new glow.

Parts of this article are excerpted with permission from books by Elizabeth Pantley:
Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and Pleading Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions are Really Telling Our Children,

New Harbinger Publications, Inc. and by McGraw-Hill/Contemporary
Website:  http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

Car Seat Crying

Some babies fall asleep almost before you’re out of the driveway, but others won’t spend five happy minutes in their car seats. Usually, this is because your baby is used to more freedom of movement and more physical attention than you can provide when she’s belted into her seat.

Hearing your baby cry while you are trying to drive is challenging. Even though it’s difficult to deal with, remember that you and your baby’s safety are most important. Parents sometimes take a crying baby out of the car seat, which is extremely dangerous and makes it even more difficult for the baby to get used to riding in the car seat. Some parents make poor driving decisions when their babies are crying, which puts everyone in the car at risk. Either pull over and calm your baby down, or focus on your driving. Don’t try to do both.

The good news is that a few new ideas and a little time and maturity will help your baby become a happy traveler. (I know, because three of my babies were car-seat-haters!)

The trip to car seat happiness
Any one (or more) of the following strategies may help solve your car seat dilemma. If the first one you try fails, choose another one, then another; eventually, you’ll hit upon the right solution for your baby.

Make sure that your baby is healthy.
If car seat crying is something new, and your baby has been particularly fussy at home, too, your baby may have an ear infection or other illness. A visit to the doctor is in order.

Bring the car seat in the house and let your baby sit and play in it.
Once it becomes more familiar in the house, she may be happier to sit there in the car.

Keep a special box of soft, safe car toys that you’ll use only in the car. If these are interesting enough, they may hold her attention. (Avoid hard toys because they could cause injury in a quick stop.)

Tape or hang toys for viewing.
You can do this on the back of the seat that your baby is facing or string an array of lightweight toys from the ceiling using heavy tape and yarn. Place them just at arm’s reach so that your baby can bat at them from her seat. (Don’t use hard toys that could hurt your baby if they come loose in a quick stop.)

Make a car mobile.
Link a long row of plastic baby chains from one side of the backseat to the other. Clip soft, lightweight new toys onto the chain for each trip. Make sure they are secure and keep on eye on these so that they don’t become loose while you are driving.

Hang a made-for-baby poster on the back of the seat that faces your baby.
These are usually black, white, red and bold primary colors; some even have pockets so you can change the pictures. (Remember to do this, since changing the scenery is very helpful.)

Experiment with different types of music in the car.
Some babies enjoy lullabies or music tapes made especially for young children; others surprise you by calming down as soon as you play one of your favorites. Some babies enjoy hearing Mom or Dad sing, more than anything else! (For some reason, a rousing chorus of “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer” has always been a good choice for us, even out of season!)

Try “white noise” in the car.
You can purchase CDs of soothing nature sounds or you can make a recording of your vacuum cleaner!

Practice with short, pleasant trips when your baby is in a good mood.
It helps if someone can sit near her and keep her entertained. A few good experiences may help set a new pattern.

Try a pacifier or teething toy.
When your baby has something to suck or chew on he may be happier. Just make sure it doesn’t present a choking hazard, and keep to small, soft toys.

Hang a mirror.
That way your baby can see you (and you can see your baby) while you are driving. Baby stores offer specialty mirrors made especially for this purpose. When in her seat, she may think that you’re not there, and just seeing your face will help her feel better.

Put up a sunshade in the window.
This can be helpful if you suspect that sunshine in your baby’s face may be a problem. Use the window-stick-on types, and avoid any with hard pieces that could become dislodged in a quick stop.

Try to consolidate trips.
Trip-chaining is effective, especially if you avoid being in the car for long periods of time, and you don’t have many ins-and-outs.

Make sure your baby hasn’t outgrown her car seat.
If her legs are confined, or her belts are too tight, she my find her seat to be uncomfortable.

Try opening a window.
Fresh air and a nice breeze can be soothing.

If all else fails . . . take the bus!

This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

Belle Baby Carrier Giveaway- DON’T MISS IT!!

This is a FACEBOOK giveaway and you will love these carriers.

HOW TO WIN……. Go to www.Facebook.com/aroundmybaby on Around My Baby’s wall type “I love Belle Baby Carriers from Around My Baby!”

………..Then on YOUR wall as your status type
“FRIENDS! I really, really want to win this contest, but I need your help! Please search AROU…ND MY BABY on Facebook and “LIKE” their page. Then scroll down their wall and find my post and “LIKE” my comment that’s it! BTW, They have the BEST BABY CARRIERS you’ll LOVE IT! “

…………First one to 100 “LIKES” WINS! This one is easier than you think, work it to get this one done, When your enjoying your $100 BELLE BABY CARRIER IT’ll BE TOTALLY WORTH IT! This contest is open til THURSDAY FEB 17th @ 5pm! This month we will spread the word of the Adorable, Affordable Baby Carriers of Around My Baby… HAVE FUN!

Get Your Toddler to Cooperate!

You will love the ideas listed below about having your toddler cooperate and doing it in a fun positive way. It’s not only fun for the toddler, but you as the parent or babysitter will be in a better mood by letting your inner child out!

Toddlers and preschoolers require finesse to gain their cooperation, because they have not yet reached the age at which they can see and understand the whole picture, so simply explaining what you want doesn’t always work. Robert Scotellaro is quoted in The Funny Side of Parenthood as saying, “Reasoning with a two-year-old is about as productive as changing seats on the Titanic.” (He must have had a two-year-old at the time.)

You can get around this frustrating state of affairs by changing your approach. Let’s look at two situations
– first the typical (Titanic) way:

Parent: David! Time to change your diaper.

David: No! (As he runs off)

Parent: Come on honey. It’s time to leave, I need to change you.

David: (Giggles and hides behind sofa)

Parent: David, this isn’t funny. It’s getting late. Come here.

David: (Doesn’t hear a word. Sits down to do a puzzle.)

Parent: Come here! (Gets up and approaches David)

David: (Giggles and runs)

Parent: (Picking up David) Now lie here. Stop squirming! Lie still. Will you stop this! (As parent turns to pick up a new diaper, a little bare bottom is running away)

I’m sure you’ve all been there. Oh, and by the way, David is my son. And this was an actual scene recorded in his baby book. Like you, I got very tired of this. And then I discovered a better way:

Parent: (Picking up diaper and holding it like a puppet, making it talk in a silly, squeaky voice)
Hi David! I’m Dilly Diaper! Come here and play with me!

David: (Running over to Diaper) Hi Dilly!

Parent as Diaper: You’re such a nice boy. Will you give me a kiss?

David: Yes. (Gives diaper a kiss)

Parent as Diaper: How ‘bout a nice hug?

David: (Giggles and hugs Diaper)

Parent as Diaper: Lie right here next to me. Right here. Yup. Can I go on you? Oh yes?!
Goody goody-goody! (The diaper chats with David while he’s being changed. Then it says, Oh, David! Listen, I hear your shoes calling you – David! David!

The most amazing thing about this trick is that it works over and over and over and over. You’ll keep thinking, “He’s not honestly going to fall for this again?” But he will! Probably the nicest by-product of this method is that it gets you in a good mood and you have a little fun time with your child.

When you’ve got a toddler this technique is a pure lifesaver. When my son David was little I used this all the time. (I then used it with my youngest child, Coleton, and it worked just as well.) Remembering back to one day, when David was almost three, we were waiting in a long line at the grocery store and I was
making my hand talk to him. It was asking him questions about the items in the cart. Suddenly, he hugged my hand, looked up at me and said, “Mommy, I love for you to pretend this hand is talking.”

Another parent reported that she called her toddler to the table for dinner a number of times, when he calmly looked up at her, chubby hands on padded hips and said, “Mommy, why don’t you have my dinner call to me?”

And suddenly, the peas on his plate came to life and called out to him; he ran over to join the family at the dinner table.

A variation on this technique, that also works very well, is to capitalize on a young child’s vivid imagination as a way to thwart negative emotions. Pretend to find a trail of caterpillars on the way to the store, hop to the car like a bunny, or pretend a carrot gives you magic powers as you eat it.

It’s delightful to see how a potentially negative situation can be turned into a fun experience by changing a child’s focus to fun and fantasy.

Excerpted with permission from Kid Cooperation, How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate by Elizabeth Pantley Website: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth Copyright 1996 Published by New Harbinger Publications, Inc. (http://www.newharbinger.com/)

Should Babies and Toddlers Watch Television???

So much television programming is aimed at young children. Much of it appears to be educational: teaching the ABCs and life skills. When is it appropriate to introduce a baby to television, and what do parents need to know about this topic?

A great deal of research has been done on the effects of television on children’s lives. The first step in making the decision is to get the facts. Because nearly all of us have one or more TV sets in our home, and since most of us watch some TV nearly every day, we may not want to hear what research tells us, but these are things parents need to know.

•    Experts suspect that babies younger than two years old view TV as a confusing array of colors, images, and noises. They don’t understand much of the content. Since the average TV scene lasts five to eight seconds, your baby or toddler doesn’t have enough time to digest what’s happening.

•    Cartoons and many children’s shows are filled with images of violence. If you find this hard to believe, surf the TV on Saturday morning. The realism portrayed in today’s cartoons has moved light years beyond the Bugs Bunny type of violence. Many children’s shows almost are animated versions of adult action films. Research shows that exposure to this type of programming increases the risk of aggressive behavior and desensitizes children to violence.
•    Babies and toddlers have a very literal view of the world. They can’t yet tell the difference between real and pretend, and they interpret what they see on TV as true life. Research has demonstrated that many young children believe that TV characters actually live inside the TV set. This can confuse young children’s understanding of the world and get in the way of their learning what’s right or wrong. It can paint a picture of a frightening, unstable, and bewildering world  and your little one does not yet have the faculties to put what he sees into proper perspective.

•    Television watching can be addictive. The more that children watch, the more they want to watch. Even toddlers can become drawn to the set. Once addicted, turning off the TV can become a daily battle. Children who watch TV excessively often become passive and lose their natural creativity; they eventually have a hard time keeping themselves busy, and they lose valuable time that should be dedicated to “play”  the foundation of a healthy childhood and the primary way that very young children learn.
•    Parents sometimes unwittingly begin to use TV more and more as a way to keep their children happy and quiet. It takes a strong will and dedication to avoid the easy route provided by this free and easy  yet sometimes dangerous  babysitter.
•    Children experience unparalleled physical, mental, and emotional growth in the early years of life. Time spent watching television is time taken away from more healthful activities that nurture growth and development.
•    Children who watch a lot of television during their early years are at risk for childhood obesity, poor social development, and aggressive behavior. They often have trouble adjusting to preschool or kindergarten. According to a study by Yale Family Television Research, teachers characterized children who watched excessive television as less cooperative, less imaginative, less enthusiastic about learning, and less happy than those who watched little or no TV.
•    Due to all the above reasons, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that parents not allow children under two to watch any television.
You may have noticed that all of these points demonstrate the negative aspects of letting babies and toddlers watch TV, and you’re wondering if there are any positives. There are a few, but I’ll be honest: I had to be very creative to come up with this list, since published research doesn’t demonstrate many good points for putting a young child in front of a television. But we need to be realistic and acknowledge that most of us aren’t going to put our TVs in the closet until all of our children start school. Here are some of the good points of television for children:

♣    Quality children’s programming can teach your child basic academic skills, such as the ABCs, counting, addition, science fundamentals, basic language skills, manners, and even early reading skills.
♣    Your child can view things she might not otherwise see in daily life: exotic animals, distant lands, musical instruments, historical places, and diverse lifestyles. Your child can learn about the world beyond her home and neighborhood.
♣    Your child can learn basic social skills from watching wholesome programming: how to play with other children, how to use good manners.
♣    Using extraordinarily careful selection and restraint, a little bit of television can provide a parent with much-needed down time, or time to catch up on tasks that need adult-only attention.

TV watching tips for parents of babies and young children
The following tips may help you minimize the negative and maximize the positive effects of television watching for your little one:

♣    Hold off introducing television  even videos  to your baby as long as possible. If you wait until your child’s second birthday, you can consider yourself incredibly successful in starting your little one off well and with the kind of real-life interaction that is so important for his development. If you decide to allow TV before your child turns two, choose programming carefully, limit viewing time and skip days when possible. (Daily viewing easily becomes habit.) The less watching time, the better! Set a goal, such as no more than 30 minutes or an hour per day, or one favorite show, so that you’ll not be tempted to turn the TV on too frequently.

♣    Watch programs yourself before you allow your baby or toddler to watch them. Just because a network markets a show to young children doesn’t mean it will reflect your own family’s morals and values. You will be amazed to discover that many programs aimed at children contain violence or topics that are inappropriate for your child. Don’t assume that your baby can pick out the moral message from a program that features violence or conflict on the way to an important lesson.
♣    Pay attention to commercials  surprisingly, an excellent children’s show will sometimes feature commercials that depict the exact things you don’t want your little one to see!

♣    Choose programs that are developmentally appropriate for your child. For you, this means shows that are slow, boring, and probably somewhat goofy. But choose programs from your child’s perspective, not your own.
♣    Invest in a collection of appropriate and educational videos for your child so that you won’t be confined to network programming schedules when you are ready to let your little one watch something.
♣    Watch along with your child when you can so that you can monitor your child’s reactions to what he’s seeing. Invite questions and discuss what you are watching so that you can understand your little one’s take. Point things out and talk about what is being taught to get the most of out of educational TV. You may even follow up with some lessons afterward.
♣    Avoid keeping the TV on when no one is actively watching. Many people do this and are used to the background noise the set generates, but your child will almost surely be exposed to programming that is inappropriate for her.
♣    Make a conscious decision about how you will use television in your family; don’t watch it by accident or default.

This article is a copyrighted excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

Happy Thanksgiving!!

SweetStrollers loves all their customers and we want to show you our gratitude by giving you something! This something you can share with friends, family, or keep it all to yourself. Its up to you!

We know that you don’t use strollers a whole lot in the winter time, but its a great time to get or give one to someone that’s in need or want.

Starting Thanksgiving day till Monday at midnight

• $25 gift  for a $100 purchase
  
• $50 gift for a $200 purchase
• $75 gift for a $300 purchase

Use toward your next purchase till December 31st.  You will receive the coupon code for your $25, $50 or $75 gift when your purchase has been processed.

Remember you can give this to a friend, family member or keep it all to your self!!